'A Goat In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Kush'

Or

'The Tibetans Plateaued'

The following is another passage from the diary of Dyfyd Llewllyn, the legendary Victorian explorer, who left Wales in 1871 on an expedition to survey the Silk Road routes of Central Asia and subsequently never returned to his native Dinas Powys:

21^st March 1873

The more I travel, the more I come to thinking that people the world over are much of a sameness. Take language for instance. Or at least, the funny little sayings we have. You know, proverbs and have you. Well, I was talking with Gerupta today, and he told me a local proverb that is so similar to our own British one that it set me thinking, it did. So here it is:

A Goat In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Kush

We got to talking about this and it turns out, would you believe, that there is a story to this proverb that by coincidence is very much related to my own journey. Well, in a way. You see, a few days ago I wrote about a great battle of the Hepthalites which took place where we had camped. This proverb, it seems, is derived from the story of another great battle fought by the same army, and lo and behold if we are not encamped in the midst of that very battlefield on this night, I’ll have you know!

 Gerupta Sing, who as you will remember is my trusty guide, was gracious enough to recount the story as we ate our evening meal. This then, is his telling of it:

As I had been telling you before, this is the ancient lands of the White Huns as conquered by their great leader Ganasha the Incredibly Handsome with the aid of his heroic brother Fagash the Wonderful. But the gaining of these lands was not an easy task, oh no, no, no. It was fraught with much danger and hardship.

Now it came to pass that Ganasha and Fagash the Heroic, after defeating the sneaky Sassanians were again stuck between a bloody hard place and a bloody big rock - the big rock being the Tibetan army that was invading The Kush. The Tibetan leader was a devious and evil old tyrant by the name of Zwayniwat The Lame. He had a mighty appetite for goats and oh by the many arms of Shiva he was famous for mounting his horse from the rear!

A great horde of Tibetan horsemen, clad in armour from head to toe, came down from their mountainous kingdom bringing with them a contingent of Burmese warriors. The Huns, still celebrating their last victory had invited their Nepalese and Zhing Zhang Nomad Allies to stay and enjoy their rewards, and the goats were finally recovering from the zealous administrations of their previous custodians.

The honourable Huns deployed their forces around the village of Guhdairohl. On their left, on a high vantage point the Zhing Zhang light horse surveyed the battle field. On the right, the Nepalese foot and cavalry faced off the marshlands. And in the centre, noble Ganasha sat with his faithful horse archers and elephants, backed by a multitude of the faithful.  The Tibetans were strung out on the other side of the marshes with the Burmese in the centre cowering behind their makeshift defences. The Tibetan heavy horse began facing the Zhing Zhang and their nomad cavalry on the opposite flank.

The Tibetans were totally flabber-ghasted. It is said that there was never a flabber as ghasted as the one on this day. They began the battle with very little enthusiasm (1). Ganasha, on the other hand, wanted blood. He sent his Nepalese foot into the marsh to attack the undefended Burmese flank, while their cavalry advanced on the right flank. Meanwhile, the light horse on the opposite flank probed the enemy defences.

The Tibetans moved across the field switching their knights and cavalry and the Burmese brought more auxiliaries to contest the marsh. The fight in the marsh was bloody and the Nepalese made little progress.

The Tibetans had moved with magnificent swiftness to dominate the flank opposite the Nepalese cavalry facing them. And, oh but goodness gracious me, this was exactly what the brilliant Ganasha had wanted. He sent his light horse with haste to support the Nepalese. And then by the grace of Shiva, the trap was sprung! 

Our most heroic Fagash the Timely arrived once more upon the flank of the Tibetans and he did smite upon them with most furious vengeance! (2)

Seeing that he had been hoodwinked and was trapped Zwayniwat The Lame (3), charged into the Nepalese cavalry hoping to ride them down. But it was to no avail. His nobles were panicked and failed to put up any meaningful resistance. And thus it was that Zwayniwat The Conductive himself was hacked from his saddle with such force that it was as if he had been struck by a bolt of lightning (4).  

Upon seeing this, the army wavered, all the more so because the Zwayniwat had sent his own force to march on the opposite flank which had mysteriously disappeared. Within a few moments the cowardly Burmese, realising that the commander was lost and the rest of his army had failed to reinforce them, turned tail and fled. (5)

It is known that Fagash the Wise had predicted this (6) and it is from here that we get the proverb, for the Tibetans trying to outflank the Huns had been beguiled by the temptation of many goats that had been tethered along the way. Upon learning this Ganasha is reported to have been saying, “A general on the field of battle is worth two that don’t show up”, whereas his brother Fagash the Witty replied, “Ah my noble brother, don’t you mean ‘a goat in the hand is worth two in The Kush’?”

Again, I was able to sit with Gerupta Singhand piece together some illustrations to accompany his tale. And so we sat in this serene valley enjoying a goat kebab - and very delicious it was too! The silence and beauty of the night was only punctuated by the occasional outburst of ‘A goat in the hand is worth two in The Kush’ and the laughter that followed it. As I listened, I pondered on the strange fascination the people of this land have with their sturdy mountain livestock…

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Notes:

1.     Wayne rolled very low pips.

2  I almost messed this up as I had not kept track of game turns or when the required dice roll drops

from 6 to 5. Fortunately, I checked just in time.

3.  Wayne broke his toe this week. Although after the battle, it still deserves a mention. 

4. Wayne also electrocuted himself this week. Tibetans are not to be trusted with DIY it seems!

5. This was an unusual turn of events. Following the death of the CiC and the subsequent loss of his command in the 7^th bound, the Tibetan flank march needed to arrive or be counted towards the total losses of the army. The command failed to arrive in the 8^th bound and thus they did not count as truly lost and still would have still had the chance to arrive, but their ME count was added to the army losses and this drove it over the ½ army total required to break the army.

6.    Actually, I had no idea this was coming.

A few words from the player:

This was a bit of a cat and mouse game for me. I really wanted to draw Wayne to the fight on my right flank. However, I was really worried about making this too obvious, hence the reluctance to reinforce the Nepalese cavalry with the light horse from the central command until he had committed. I was worried by how quickly he got his knights formed up and was very fortunate that Fagash the Reliable came on when he did.

The fight in the marsh went really badly for me. I hoped to roll up that flank of the Burmese as the only had Ax (i) there. In the end, the fights didn’t go my way and Wayne did a good job of reinforcing the position. It was a bit of a gamble and ended up a pip drain. It may have had the beneficial outcome of preventing the Burmese from advancing to my centre, though.

If Wayne’s flank march had not been distracted by goats, I would have had a difficult time of it. In fact, his plan was to repel my own flank march with one that was slightly larger and faster (LH f). – a very good idea! Fortunately, I made a conscious decision to ignore that hill as it was the obvious place for me to fight from and it paid off.

The end result 25-0 (the Huns only lost about 7 Me in total).

There was a slight error in my army list and it turns out I was 10 points in excess. However, under the circumstances, it had almost no impact on the outcome. Kudos to Wayne for being so understanding. 

Next, we are going for an Indian! 

Goat Jalfrezi

After the rather poor showing in the last battle, no-one in the Sassanid army was keen to return to Persia, and answer awkward questions such as "what happened to the old king", so the newly anointed (and imaginatively named), King Bobroes II decided to lead the army for some RnR in India. Consulting his Horsebacker's Guide to the Subcontinent, he found a little place that was rated 5 stars for its goat jalfrezi, and decided that a good meal would be just the thing to revive the mens' spirits.

Not expecting any trouble, Bobroes rode up and politely requested a table for 50,000, only to be met with the surly passive-aggressive response "Do you have a reservation ?", Suppressing the urge to answer "Do I look like a *#@**## Red Indian", Bobroes drew himself up to his full height and inquired "Do you know who I am ?", only to be met with the rejoinder, "I don't care if you're the Shah of Persia, you're not getting in without a reservation." Of course the only suitable response to such insolence was to draw his sword, and remove the greeterwallah's head with a single stroke.

Now perhaps it's a cultural thing, but this totally justified act seemed to annoy the Indians greatly, and there was a great deal of shouting, finger pointing and probably some bad language. More and more angry Indians started to arrive, and after a while an ugly chick on an elephant turned up (apparently her name was Anne-Toni Gupta), and the Indians squared up for a full on battle.

Resolving to instruct his scribes to send in a one star review (rude staff, unable to handle large parties), Bobroes took stock of the situation, and drew up his army to meet the insolent Indians. Their army was formidably large, and drawn up in a strong position with their left protected by a wood and a village, and their right by a large area of scrub. The open ground between was filled with two commands, combining their SpI to make a central infantry block, that was flanked on each side by BwI and HdO. Each side also had some elephants behind, and one had a large block of 8 CvO held back in reserve*. Some psiloi and horde held the the wood on the left, and the third command lead by Anne-Toni herself occupied the scrub on the left with elephants, fast blades and archers.

The armies square up

Bobroes plan was to ignore the Indians in the scrub, unhinge their position by seizing the wood on their left, and then ride down their infantry and cavalry frontally with the Asavaran, while trying to avoid engaging the elephants. A force of psiloi occupied a wood in the center of the Persian position, with the task of engaging any elephants who ventured forwards, before they could engage the Persian horse.

Once again, many of the Indians were overawed by the magnificent sight of the Persian army, and the central Indian command was unreliable, and only agreed to fight after several turns of cajoling by Anne-Toni. Meanwhile Bobroes moved up his crack Dailami infantry to seize the wood, forcing the Indian cavalry reserve to cover them off. This cleared the way for a frontal attack by the Persian heavy cavalry, who make short work of the Indian archers and horde, and on their right broke through and started attacking the Indian reserve cavalry.

Persians storm through the wood

Having already taken losses attempting to defend the wood, the Indian left, collapsed, but the center held firm, and with support from Anne-Toni's elephants that had moved across from the scrub, counter-attacked the Persian left. The light infantry in the center, who had been supposed to counter any elephants, never got enough pips to get into position, and were masked by Indian infantry. Since the Persian left was the low pip command, it was unable to disengage quickly enough, and its horsemen were trampled underfoot by the Indian pachyderms.

The Persian center now engaged with spearmen of the Indian central command, while each side endeavored to intervene with their victorious flank. While the Persian center took considerable losses, eventually their regular C and C prevailed, and they were able to break the Indian center before losing their own, and win the game 19-6.

The battle unfolds

Once again, the Indian cavalry and foot were vulnerable in the open to Persian CvS and they had no answer to the Persians AxS seizing key terrain. Having to deploy first, and with an unreliable central command, the initial Indian play seemed a bit passive, but it turns out this was a cunning plan, and a flank march was expected on their left, whose mission was to intercept the Persian thrust through the wood. Had it arrived in time, it would have caused considerable difficulty, but in the event it didn't arrive at all.**

Still craving goat jalfrazie, rumours reached Bobroes that the annoying Tibetan shopkeeper (the Deli Llama) was now heading for Persia. Reluctantly he prepared to march the army back home, hoping to get their in time before the whole place started to reek of yak's milk.



* This was an exaggerated size stratagem, and there were actually only four.
** Of the three flank marches attempted that night, only one showed up. The following day, the local news carried a story about a contractor hired to repair a canal bridge, who'd removed said bridge, but neglected to leave any warning signs, resulting in three cars and a motorbike ending up in the water. Perhaps the missing flank marches suffered a similar fate.

Tinpot Tibetans fail to crack Hindu nut

Having lost their leader and been dispossessed of Kapissa by the dastardly Bobroes of Persia, the Hindu expeditionary force returned to their native lands for a bit of well-earned R-n-R. Or at least, that is what they thought.

News came through that the irritating Tibetan shopkeeper (better known as the Deli Llama in historical texts) had once again sent out a force under the command of Zhayne Yahwot to seize all manner of delicacies for his business. Rumour had it that number one on Zhayne’s shopping list was elephant balls and that he had already seized those of Gnash the Hepthalite. Now, he was supposed to be looking for those belonging to the Guptas. Thus, it came to pass on one fine spring morning in AD 563 (or thereabouts) that the Tibetan knights approached the Hindu army peacefully relaxing by a riverbank.

The Indians took advantage of a gentle hill in their centre with psiloi securing the wood on their left flank and hordes blocking approaches from across the river on their right.  The Tibetans deployed almost out of sight, but from his hilltop vantage point, the new Hindu general, Antarthritis of Creakybhony, could tell that the small Tibetan force had even less horsemen than even a small Tibetan force should have. Thus, he immediately suspected a devious ploy to get as yet unseen horsemen behind his elephants and grab their balls from the rear.

At dawn, the Tibetans began their morning exercises, parading up and down in front of the Hindu hill. “Here we go again” opined the Indians and most went back to sleep knowing they would be safe for a couple more hours. Most that is except for some intrepid sailors who took their boats down the river looking to do a bit of outflanking of their own.

With no enemy in sight, the intrepid sailors jumped off downstream and went in search of booty. They ran around the wooded hill on the Tibetan left and stumbled across the Tibetan camp, protected by nothing but a fence. Gleefully, the leading company attacked! (Thus, the first combat of the encounter took place between Tibetan baggage in temporary fortifications and a marauding Indian iBdF. Watching the ‘action’ elsewhere up to this point had been much like watching windscreen wipers doing their stuff on a rainy day on a car stuck in traffic.)

However, the deviousness of the Tibetans knows no depths and at this point, a whole contingent of Nepalese cavalry revealed themselves on both sides of the encampment. Stunned, the Hindu sailors did their best to line up and fight off the cavalry on their side. Hearing of their predicament, their general rushed to the aid of his men (or at least, as quickly as his bow could with spartan PIP dice).

Seeing the Hindu bow and elephants disappearing round the wooden hill, Zhayne decided to give chase, at first with the other Nepalese and then with one of his own light horse commands. Oh, what a merry go round it was around the hill: the blade falling one by one to the Tibetan cavalry, the Hindu general rushing to save them, the light horse chasing those reinforcements and more Nepalese behind them. Would the general arrive in time to save any of his men? Would the light horse grab his elephant's balls from the rear first? Ooh, the drama!

At this point, the Hindu general rolled a calamitous 1 on his PIP die. Either he turned in an act of self-preservation, leaving the rest of his force exposed to rear attacks, or kept everyone going to stay away from all but the leading light horse. Valiantly, he took the latter option, the nearest light horse tried to grab his other elephant’s balls, they fought, the elephant won, he turned, and suddenly that light horse was not looking so happy. Next Hindu bound, the PIP die was kinder and enabled the general and one bow to turn while also allowing the other bow to keep on going. Now facing the pursuers, the bow got off the first (and only) shot of the entire battle, killing the nearest enemy light horse.

Way over in the opposite corner of the field, some other Tibetan light horse took on brave psiloi who had eschewed the safety of the wood for glory. Unremarkable in itself, but deserving mention in this tale for it enticed the commander of those light horse forward while still being in an apparently ‘safe’ position. Safe it was not for lurking unhidden behind the tropical foliage were more Indian warriors (iBdF in ambush) and the enemy general had strayed within strike range. A good PIP roll enabled them to not only engage said general but also get some psiloi onto his flank for a potential quick kill.

Oh the agony as the ambushers rolled just 2 in combat, but the stunned general could only muster a 1 and the agony turned to ecstasy as the Tibetan fell from his horse. (Editor's note: This is called karma as my CnC died on a 2-1 in similar fashion last time out.)

Their general gone, the rest of his command became disheartened and the threat of them outflanking the Indians was all but removed, so the Hindu foot became emboldened to move up and close on the Tibetan knights.

Furthermore, with the Tibetans either trying to either get around the wood on their right or on the wooded hill merry-go-round on their left, they had all but vacated the centre, allowing more wild Hindu warriors (spontaneous iBdF) to burst through and harry another general (the commander of the light horse engaging the elephants).

At this point, Zhayne decided that an orderly withdrawal was better than defeat, so opted to break off the fight. Antarthritis’ ally general had turned the tables on the pursuing light horse by getting his elephants around, and with that light horse general being under personal pressure the whole command was in a sticky position. More importantly, the knights on the other side would have had to fight off two-thirds of the Indian army single-handed (odds of perhaps nearly three to one), not being able to rely on the wavering light horse without their general.

In sum, a battle of posturing and movement with very little actual combat. The Tibetans failed to draw the Indians out of their defensive position (not least because the central Indian command struggled for PIPs most of the game and took an age to get off the hill) while the Indian attack on the Tibetan baggage sucked half the Tibetan army away from where it needed to be. The Indians held their ambushers until the right moment, and because the ambush worked, the showdown looked set for an Indian victory. The Tibetans were saved by the bell. Final result: 13-12 to the Hindu Indians.

The Death Throes of Bobroes 

or

 'Oh, for the love of goat!'

The following is a passage from the diary of Dyfyd Llewllyn, the legendary Victorian explorer, who left Wales in 1871 on an expedition to survey the Silk Road routes of Central Asia and subsequently never returned to his native Dinas Powys:

2^nd March 1873

Today was a tough day. We tried to find one of the old burial mounds as was left by the Hepthalites (or White Huns, as they are known to the natives) back in the 6^th century AD, but there it was, gone! We camped overnight on a hill overlooking a curving river. Lovely it was. And, it was here that our old guide, Gerupta Singh spun us a wonderful yarn, as he does every night as we sit around the camp fire. Particularly good was this one, so I have taken the time to write it down as best I can recall. About a famous battle it is, and if what he says is true, we are camped right in the thick of the battle ground, we are!

The old Indian man told it like this:

It had been a bad year for Ganasha of the White Huns. Although he was a son of the old king Toramana, he was a bastard, and as such he had had to fight to win his place at the head of the White Huns. He was used to victory but Shiva had not been with him recently. His last two battles had gone badly and he had been direly wounded in both of them. First the Persians and then the Tibetans had twisted fate to get the better of him. But he was not deterred and on this day he was planning his revenge on the Persian pretender Bobroes the Herder.

The White Hun army had seen an opportunity and invaded the Kush in winter. The Persians had been caught tending their goats (1). The two armies manoeuvred but the Huns got the upper hand. The terrain was mostly good for their horse archers although the wily Persians had secured their left flank with a river (or so they were thinking!).

The two armies faced each other with a gentle slope separating them. It is this very slope on which we are encamping this night, and it is this river upon which we see the stars reflect that ran with blood on that day. To the west, the marshes still call out with the ghostly voices of the slain.

(As I look around from this hill I can clearly survey this land for miles around. While not a patch on South Glamorgan, a wonderful pasture it is, and perfect for horses. Other than some scrub and two small patches of marshland it is quite flat really.)

Ah but I must be hastening my story. As dawn was rising and the mists were clearing on a fine morning, it is said that Bobroes himself was slow to leave the warm embrace of his favourite goat. While he was distracted, the glorious Ganasha’s Huns, arrayed with allies from Nepal and the Tibetan steppes at the fore, leaped forward like a magnificent tiger and, good gracious me, caught the goat lover with his trousers down! (2)

Rushing forward the Nepalese cavalry rode up this hill while their infantry swarmed across the river to harry the Persian flank. Meanwhile, the Zhang-Zhung horse archers swept to the opposite flank, and the Huns moved towards the centre. Well, as you can be imagining, the Persians were quite taken-aback. And goodness gracious me, Bobroes himself having finally stopped mounting his goat and mounted a horse, ran around in circles like a monkey with brass nuts.

But Shiva be praised, there is another hero of whom we have not be hearing of yet. This is the great Hun general Fagash the Heroic, brother of Ganasha. Oh deary me, he was the very best horseman in the world. He and a few brave warriors had been riding through the night facing great perils and dangers to come around to the Persian right flank and strike like a cobra!  (3)

The goat-herding Persians were not being prepared for this, and Bobroes was mightily angered. The battle was bloody and there was much killing. In the centre, Ganasha’s command, although fighting like wild elephants, were beaten back. But, by Khali’s loin cloth,  they had killed many of the Persian Asavaran cavalry. On the Hunnic left Fagash the Bold with the help of the nomad horse archers had wiped out the Dailami foot.

Both sides had taken many casualties and the dance of death was a bloody spectacle. The two armies were teetering on the edge of doom. Now it came to pass that in desperation, and maybe because he wanted to impress his favourite goat, Bobroes himself and his royal escort joined the fray. His heavy cavalry charged the light horse archers, but I have to be telling you that this day it was not meant to be. Blessed Shiva shone her light upon Fagash the Brave and this light was like a blazing beacon shining into the hearts of the White Huns and their allies. First, they pushed the Asavaran back in to the marsh, then they darkened its waters with the blood of Persia’s finest warriors. Many goats were saddened by this.  

*(The fight gets messy)

*(Meanwhile, on the other flank, the Nepalese psiloi finally get accroos th eriver to the rear of the Persians.)

Bobroes suddenly found himself surrounded on 3 sides by horsemen. And I am telling you, it was Fagash the Mighty himself that charged straight at the Persian pretender. He raised his sword high in the air and goodness gracious me his cut went through the Iranian King faster than a spicy mutton curry! (4) As Bobroes fell his gaze flickered toward his tent and the four-legged lover inside and then he died. A ripple of panic flashed across the Persian army and a faint bleating was heard from the King’s tent, but his army stood firm.

The Persian retaliation was swift and cunning. Bobroe’s brother Bobadh the Effete launched himself against the flank of Fagash the Isolated with a passion and virility much like that which had been seen in Bobroes tent earlier that morning. It was now Fagash the Surrounded’s turn to be in the direst of straits! The whole battle was hinging on this encounter.

Bobadh the Effete brandished his weapon, but it was small and by this time quite bent from over use. Fagash the Blessed raised his sword again, striking back at many opponents slaying all those to his front with much ferocity. Bobadh the Effete was pushed back in humiliation and quavered as he realised his rash act of passion (the second today, but goats don’t tell tales) had left his rear exposed to the enemy.

Emboldened by the heroic deeds of Fagash the Unstoppable and following his lead, the remaining horse archers surrounded the enemy leader like vultures to a corpse. Bobadh the Effete, gave one last longing look to the herd as Fagash the Unstoppable screamed his war cry of ‘Bum Shanka’ and hacked his foe from his saddle. (5) With that the Persian’s turned tail and fled the field, not even pausing to take their goats with them.  

                                                         *(Final positions)
That my friends is how this hill came to be known as Hunavasaha and those marshes to be haunted by the ghosts of Bobroes and Bobadh and to this day the villagers report of goats going missing in the night never to be being seen again!  Now Pot-Wolla, how is that goat curry coming along?

As we sat and ate our evening meal of curried goat atop this hill, I looked out across the plain. All was still, it was; accept for a mysterious glow and a ghostly howling sound coming from the marshes to the west, punctuated at irregular intervals by an alarming bleating. Needless to say, it was not a good night’s rest and we were happy to move on the following day.

Later in our expedition, I was able to quiz Gerupta Singh again about this battle. Together we managed to piece together some illustrations to accompany his tale.   

1. The holder of the top table has the option of choosing to defend or 'Minding the goats'.

2. The Huns were invading but doubled the Persians time of day dice-roll and thus gained the opportunity to move first.

3. A successful flank march (on a roll of a 6)

4. Fagash, rolled a 1 to Bobroes' 3. The result was a draw. However, as Fagash was Superior Light Horse he gains a +1 on a draw. Bobroes having been flanked could not recoil and was destroyed.

5. Fagash rolled up this time 5-1 against the enemy LH and killed it outright. This left him free to manouvre and the Persian general greatly exposed. Rolling high for pips in the next bound meant that we were able to surround the enemy general.

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The final result was 15-10 to the Huns. The game was so close and I was fortunate that Fagash stood his ground or my army would have collapsed. I now how full access to the goats and will face Wayne's Tibetan's again next week.

1. Fagash's flank march came on in the 3rd turn but had to skirmish before moving back in for the coup de grace. 

2. Allied fast light horse controlled the left flank and successfully assaulted the enemy foot.  

3. The CiC's command of superior LH and 1 elephant did a lot of damage to the enemy before it was broken.

4. The Nepalese cavalry spent most of the game dominating the centre by remaining uphill. They eventually did charge and achieved nothing. 

5. I had hope Nepalese psiloi would distract Bob and get around the flank more quickly. Unfortunately, 4 turns of low pip dice held them in check.

6. The Persian dead pile 

7.  Asavaran charge the centre and do damage but not as quickly as one would expect.

8. Bob's reserve was committed quite early but struggled to get  into contact for a few turns.

9. Bobroes and his cavalry escort zig-zagged around the marsh and held the flank march back.

10. Persian fast light horse lurking and trying to tempt Fagrash in to contact and into the range of the cavalry. 

Kapissa is Mine

Now you may recall that in the previous installment, King Bobroes the Magnificent of Persia, had defeated the rampaging hordes of Hepthalite Huns, slain their leader Gnash, and began marching towards the pleasant valley of Kapissa, which he reasoned would be an excellent place from which to control the crossings over the Hindu Kush, and prevent any powers from India interfering with his plan to control the Silk Road.

However, as he drew near, he learned that King Chantony Gupta from India had already crossed the Kush, and taken control of it. This would mean war.

Now in his heart of hearts, Chantony knew that Indians had never successfully invaded anywhere. and unwilling to risk too much of his own army in the endeavor, had concocted a sort of military pyramid scheme, and coerced invited all his Maharaja chums to take part. Thus besides Chantony's own contingent, the army that faced Bobroes contained no less than three allied contingents, two from India, and one from Arakan in Burma.

Starting Positions

Chantony drew his army up in a strong position, with his centre protected by an area of enclosed fields, his right protected by a wood, and his left by a large area of scrub that would hinder the Persian horsemen, but present no obstacle to his own elephants. He placed one Indian ally on each flank, and the Burmese (who were all light footmen with no elephants) in the center. His own contingent of elephants, armoured cavalry and well drilled (if someone effete) spearmen, deployed in reserve behind the centre.

King Bobroes the Magnificent deployed his own contingent of armoured cavalry (known as Asavaran) on his left, another contingent of armoured cavalry in the centre, and yet another contingent of armoured cavalry on the right. Each contingent also contained some light foot, that on the right some light horse archers, and his own contingent contained many Dailami, the best rough terrain troops in central Asia.

As the armies faced off, it became apparent that Chantony's marketing materials had mainly focused on the balmy climate, pleasure gardens, and the cuteness of the native goats, and had made little mention of conflict with angry Persians Kings, or the possibilities of expedited entry to the next life. Faced with the serried ranks of armoured horsemen, the commitment of his allies started to waver, particularly that of the Burmese and the Indian's on his left. However, with many blandishments (got six for his first PIP dice, and spent them all on persuading his allies), Chantony convinced the Burmese to join battle, but the Indians to the left remained obdurate that they would not fight.

Main Movements

Seeing the disharmony in the enemy ranks, King Bobroes determined to strike on his left (the Indian's right). He lead his own contingent on a long march around the outside of the wood to outflank the enemy, while the central Persian contingent moved towards the gap between the wood and the enclosed fields, and the rightmost force, moved into the centre, ignoring the unreliable allies on the Indian left.

It was apparent to both commanders that the area of enclosed fields in the centre of the battlefield was a crucial piece of terrain. Chantony ordered four companies of fierce swordsmen (IBdF) from his rightmost ally to move up and line its edge. As karma would have it though, while Chantony had put much study into that famous sutra, he had neglected the deebeehememasutra, and was surprised when his force did not stay on the field's edge as expected, but instead rushed impetuously into it, seeking battle and glory. King Bobroes though, well understood the command difficulties involved in clearing such difficult terrain, and had arranged converging forces from three different commands to occupy it. With the Indians falling into disorder as they rushed forward, the Persians fell on their flanks and utterly routed them, securing the enclosed fields and allowing their own cavalry to advance safely.

Tiring of arguing with his allies, Chantony resolved to take action against the Persian threat. He ordered the rightmost ally to throw out some cavalry to screen Bobroe's flanking maneuver,  while moving its elephants and archers up next to the wood. The Burmese command moved rightwards to cover the enclosed fields, and Chantony's own command moved to the right behind his ally with the intention of  making a solid front against Bobroes.

Only slightly worried as it was the Indians bound next

King Bobroes rounded the wood, and started to engage the Indian cavalry screen. Initially the encounter did not go well, with the king at one stage in danger of being surrounded, but eventually the heavier and more numerous Persians prevailed.  However, by this time Chantony had brought his own force of spearmen and archers up to prevent further Persian progress. Meanwhile the Persian cavalry had moved up to attack the long column of marching Burmese. The later launched a surprise attack and scored some initial success, but lightly armed footmen (AxO and I) fighting heavy cavalry in the open are always going to have a difficult time, and eventually they were defeated and their contingent routed. At the same time, Persian cavalry, being almost immune to arrows, had killed many archers of the right-hand Indians, and with their cavalry and swordsmen already destroyed, that contingent too, broke and routed.

If you're going to make a final desperate charge, don't roll a one

This left Chantony himself in very exposed position, facing off Bobroes in a line from the wood to the battlefield edge, while Persian cavalry from the centre poured towards his rear. Realizing that all was almost lost, he spurred (or goaded or whatever you do) his elephant on and attempted to engage King Bobroes in personal combat. The latter, being somewhat disadvantaged by being mounted only on a horse, did not think it unkingly to give a little ground, and as Chantony pursued, Persian cavalry fell on his flanks, pouring arrow fire at his elephant, until maddened by its injuries, it through off poor Chantony, and trampled him into the ground. With this the remainder of the Indian army broke and fled.

So with another glorious victory, King Bobroes secured control of Kapissa, but even as he began to relax beneath a pleasant date palm, rumours came that once again the Hepthalites were mobilizing. It seemed that like cockroaches, however many you killed, more will always come.